I have the perfect gift -- all I need is the bow!

I finally had my first weekend off in a long time, and I’ve been having a wonderful time catching up on a lot of things that I haven’t had time to do: go to the gym, take a bike ride, hike, watch TV... Since the holidays are upon us, it seems that every other commercial is about giving someone a car for Christmas, which leaves me with a couple questions...

1. Do people really buy people cars for Christmas?

And more importantly...

2. Where does one get one of those big bows?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll explain...

The commercials usually start in some clever way, with someone handing a beloved a small box which turns out to contain a set of keys, or a music box that plays the theme song for the car company, or the recipient being led blindfolded into a perfect snowy morn... They always end in the same place: the driveway, where a sparkling brand-new car sits... always with a giant bow on top.

Now, I may not know the answer to question number 1; I have absolutely no idea if people really buy each other cars for Christmas... and I’m not sure I know what that means, either. Does it mean they purchase the car outright? Or did they just fork up the down payment, and maybe the first monthly installment? Do they pay for the insurance? What if it’s the wrong color? Or the wrong vehicle? Is there a 30 day return period if the recipient doesn’t like it? I mean really -- a car is a very personal choice! I’m not sure I would want someone buying me one as a present. And seriously, what happens if you end up breaking up with the person who gave you the car? Do you have to give it back? What if you’ve sort of dinged it up already? You know, spilled a Coke on the upholstery, trashed the trunk with your camping gear, ground mud into the floor mats...? Are you expected to detail the car before you give it back?

The answer to question number 2 was much easier than I thought it would be, thanks to the Internet. Evidently it’s very easy to find those over sized bows -- just go to a site like www.carbows.com. It seems to me that if you are buying a car for someone from a dealership that they ought to throw the bow in for free, don’t you think? In fact, it could be their selling feature: “Buy this beautiful $45,000 car for your loved one, and we’ll throw in a free bow so that you can look just like our commercial!” But I guess that’s not how the car dealers see it. I suppose they are in the market to sell cars, not bows... In any event, E-How can also show you how to make a homemade bow.

All of this does lead me to my last question, which is this: let’s just say you are the recipient of said car gift... how does one ever find a way to say thank you?

I just want everyone to know that I am perfectly happy with Bessie, and if anyone has any notions of replacing her, and placing a big old yellow ribbon on top of the new one, they had better rethink their plans. No one is scrapping Bessie!